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Thursday, September 13th, 2001
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7:40 pm - Declaration of Reasons
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Miss Hetty said I should write and people would read, and listen, and enjoy. Well, for her I'll try...
Writing has never been my strong suit but,...
if Miss Hetty insists, maybe she is right.
Miss Hetty is my neighbor, older woman in her late seventies, lots of wisdom, says whats on her mind.
Her apple cake, warm, sends me into a comfort zone like no other.
Me? well, who am I? Just a woman about to turn 40. Years ago when I was 22 I thought I was 100 years old! We all think that we know it all when we are young. That isn't quite the way the way I felt, I felt old, dead, my life lived in a brief moment. I was wrong. A long weary journey it has been...
When I was 19, I met my husband;strong legs, alburn curls, black eyelashes, freckles, full lips. I married st 20 - 4 mounths pregnant, sure that if I didn't have my child that God would never speak to me again. 21 came, Harmonie Arlene Perry was born. 22, widow ...3 months stay in the hospital was all it took for the cancer to work its evil, draining plague, in my husbands strong healthy body. In 5 months 250 pounds turned into 165. Just a bag of bones on a six foot frame. A long weary journey...
Today I am taking Harmonie to take her drivers test. 18 and a half years old she is, going off to Junior collage. A long time between now and her birth. She has grown strong and willful, but patient and kind. A part of her never wants to take responsability for her life and like most her age, she wants to get there now!
I remember when she was born, after four days of labor, emergency C- section (the old kind), we all most didn't make that one.Her head was turned wrong, put me into back labor. She was going to break me to get out. and of course she would had died in doing so.
I remember going into a space where I talked to a woman who told me I had a life to live. and I had to retun to help my daughter. I took me years to figure out all that that "dream" meant, I was very close to death and i didn't realize that i was dieing. I just knew i was tired and i wanted rest. but god as I understand her and him (whoever) told me that i had many things to do but i was soooo tired that i thought i was just asleep..... now I know what they were talking about: they were talking about my long weary journey...
current mood: zeffermented
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